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Power's Night Out

 
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Alistair
Ranger


Joined: 27 Mar 2007
Posts: 55

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 12:31 pm    Post subject: Power's Night Out Reply with quote

this is a dumb little poem I wrote because the power went out.. about two hours ago.. and it's been a real drag. It's super hot. but now it's over.




Power’s Night Out


Power went out last night

We tried to stop him; we begged him not to go,

But NO! Power was always on, at home,

He wanted a night out on the town

So he dressed up in his very best black

He shut off all of the appliances and turned off the lights

He turned off the air conditioning, clocks, and televisions

Then he left, just like that

We were oh so distraught; we wrung our hands in the dark

Finally he came back, at two a.m.,

In the cold of the night, to warm our spirits

We smiled and gave him a warm embrace

Then smacked him upside the head

“Never will you leave again!”
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Tiana Calthye
The Admin with Lime


Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 886
Location: Canada!

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 6:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

(snrk) Amusing. >.>

Sorry, I don't have much more to say beyond that. I'm not very good at critiquing poems.
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Duncariel
(dies)


Joined: 18 Mar 2007
Posts: 627
Location: hell. or south dakota.

PostPosted: Tue May 15, 2007 1:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ooh, I like the personification... clever....

... and amusing. Dzang that power, anyway. A bit of a satire, as well? Could be, I suppose. People's reliance on something a bit... flighty... eh. Curse AP English and reading into things....

But I like it. It makes me smile. Laughing <---- Like that, but with less twitchyness.
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yeah, that and my pants are full of starfish.
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Cy Skywalker
Elf


Joined: 21 Mar 2007
Posts: 212
Location: not Glasgow

PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 12:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very creative! I like the title...and lots of lines. Here "We were oh so distraught" doesn't quite work with the punctuation that's on it...
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shijin123
Hobbit


Joined: 05 Jan 2011
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 6:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

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kaka
Hobbit


Joined: 02 Sep 2011
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 2:21 am    Post subject: watch Reply with quote

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